C'est LA Vie

Such is life.

Where do I begin. I wish I would have started back on July 7th when my life changed on a dime getting terminated from my job for something that I could not even begin to know how to do. Or I could go back to December 14th, when my life experience list grew with a slap in handcuffs, and the loss of my goal of having no record Or even further back to November 08, when I found out the wrong way, that the house I was renting was going into foreclosure, and all the stability or foundation was wobbling again.

The point is there are many moments, benchmarks I suppose, that impact you deeply, that you think you will remember them to the tee, for life. And this is possibly true; however, if you look up to the memories above, you will see that they all have a personal negative or hurtful impact. That is why we remember them longer and with greater detail. They made us feel, feel emotions that we don't feel on a usual basis. Emotions that hurt, make us feel unstable, insecure, and make us doubt our own worth. They cut and bruise, and take a long time to heal because we hold them in to ourselves. Not sharing them with others out of shame or embarrassment. Not dealing with them the way we would deal with any other days experiences.

I could go back further than I did, but the gaps of time would be more spread apart. They are fading, which goes to show that time is the true healer....

Now I have many great days and memories and experiences and feelings... in between those dates above. Just about any other normal day could fill in the gaps. If you asked me about a good time, or what happened on a particular day, I could not tell you right at the moment. I would have to seriously meditate on it, and I would probably fall asleep! Why is that? Because those are the normal everyday living life days. No drama, no shockers, nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing to write home about! LOL

But, I would like to start filling in those blanks. Be thankful for all the days I have easily forgotten about, because they way outnumber the days I won't forget! I would like to start finding at least one thing every day that I will remember. Remember how it made me feel, or what it made me stop and think of, or how it affected another person, or vice versa. That is a great goal!